How to stop Claude saying seam every 10 seconds

Absolutely ripping your hair out reading Claude referring to everything as “honest load-bearing seams”? You’re not the only one. But what if I tell you there’s a way to take this increasing source of micro-aggression and make it ridiculous? I present to you, the MessageDisplay hook.

First you need a little script with some replacements set up:

#!/usr/bin/env python3
import json, re, sys

replacements = {
    "seam": "whatchamacallit",
    "you're absolutely right": "I'm a complete clown",
    "honest take": "spicy doodad",
    "load-bearing": "cooked"
}

data = json.load(sys.stdin)
text = data.get("delta") or ""

for phrase, replacement in replacements.items():
    pattern = r"\b" + re.escape(phrase) + r"\b"
    text = re.sub(pattern, replacement, text, flags=re.IGNORECASE)

print(json.dumps({
    "hookSpecificOutput": {
        "hookEventName": "MessageDisplay",
        "displayContent": text,
    }
}))

put that in ~/.claude/hooks/wordswap.sh and make it executable with chmod +x ~/.claude/hooks/wordswap.sh. Then to hook it up, add it to your ~/.claude/settings.json in the hooks block like:

{
  "hooks": {
    "MessageDisplay": [
      { "hooks": [ { "type": "command", "command": "$HOME/.claude/hooks/wordswap.sh" } ] }
    ]
  }
}

Hooks load at startup, so you just need to start a new session to start your new life.